- The Writers – Warren Lieberstein & Halsted Sullivan
- Director - Paul Lieberstein
- A brief synopsis – Someone has leaked out about the problems with the Sabre printers and Jo visits the branch to rat them out. As several people were actually guilty of doing this, they ask that Michael run interference. Dwight looks to buy the building they all work in.
- The best line – Michael: [on Youtube video] There is nothing wrong, nor will there ever be wrong with any Sabre printers. Case closed. [phone rings, Michael picks it up] Michael Scott, as seen on TV.
Todd Packer: [high-pitched voice] I saw you on the news and I want to pinch your tiny wiener… [normal voice] It’s Packer!
Michael: OH! Pack Man, I thought you were a girl!
- The 2nd best line –
Jo:Sounds like you were as blindsided by this as I was.Toby: Well, that’s…
Jo: And we didn’t find anything on your computer.
Jo: Except this. [hands stack of paper to Toby]
Toby: Oh, wow, this is, uh, just a mystery novel that I’ve been working on.
Jo: I know what it is. I skimmed the first chapter. I’m just curious, why would a man who hates people want to have a relationship with a maid?
Toby: Oh, uh, I don’t know, uh…
Jo: The way I look at it, there’s only one of two reasons. He knows a secret about her that she doesn’t know herself, or he wants to use her services to mop up after a murder.
Toby: Oh… yes.Toby [To Camera]: Write your own damn novel.
- The best moment – The above 2nd line is a pretty sweet homage to Misery.
- The best storyline – Dwight buying their building? I’m all in.
- Notable guest appearance – Packer! Steals the show with one line!
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? – In Jo we trust.
- Grade - B+
Not a strong base story, but executed well. Nice to have Jo back in any capacity. Great lines throughout, but a leak as the main storyline has little heft. Looking forward to Season 7 being Michael’s last, as I am hoping to see him develop a bit before leaving. But, then, the lack of development is really the best reason for him to move on.
- The Writer - Aaron Shure
- Director – Randall Einhorn
- A brief synopsis – Everyone is on pins and needles thinking Michael has stopped seeing Donna after she reveals her marriage. He hasn’t. Dwight and Angela debate over their contract to produce and raise a child. Andy, valiant as ever, speaks up for the husband that is being cheated on.
- The best line –
Lawyer:Finally there’s a provision here in the occurrence that the child is born an old man, a la Benjamin Button.Angela: Same page. Go to the next one.
Dwight: Same page. Just keep moving.
Lawyer: Despite the provision covering whether this is all part of the matrix–
Dwight: Which we can’t know.
Lawyer: This is essentially…
Dwight: Unless we’re unplugged.
Lawyer: Equivalent to a donor or surrogate contractor.
Dwight: And wake up in the future.
Lawyer: Which is actually pretty common. So I have to tell you that this is a solid contract.
Lawyer: Look, I can’t enforce that anybody have a child with anyone else.
Lawyer: So essentially, this comes down to damages. Now, there is some precedence for the range of $30,000.
Dwight: What?Dwight[To Camera]: I don’t have $30,000 lying around. I have it buried very deeply, and I don’t want to dig past a certain someone to get it.
- 2nd best line –
Meredith: That is something I would never do.Michael: Well, I think we all know what you’re capable of Meredith.
Meredith: Hey, I have never cheated on, been cheated on, or been used to cheat with.Meredith: I ask… everyone in the room, “Are you in a relationship?”.
- The best moment – Dwight trying to prevent Angela from getting “the good stuff.”
- The best storyline – Andy, speaking up for cuckolded men everywhere.
- Notable guest appearance – Donna’s husband, goes unnamed. Poor guy. And this, thankfully, is the last we see of Donna’s storyline.
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? – No, but glad he finally found some shame.
- Grade – A-
Andy helped to pull this one from the gutter, but Dwight and Angela, working out the details on their contract in earshot of horrified Jim and Pam will not soon be forgotten. Props to Darryl always coming through for the sleepy first time parents. Also, nice segue into the season ender.
- The Writers – Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupinski
- Director – Rainn Wilson
- A brief synopsis – The staff at Dunder-Mifflin-Sabre Scranton convince Michael that his new flame Donna may be two timing him. He hires Dwight to find out. Andy is frustrated when trying to convey information about a potential defect in a printer to an apathetic Gill. Darryl listens to him, but not for altruistic reasons.
- The best line – Kelly: Oh, hey, I love your earrings.
Donna: Thank you.
Kelly: Did Michael get them for you?
Donna: No, I bought them myself.
Donna: Steamtown Mall.
Kelly: Claire’s? Zales? Ricky’s? Earring, Earrings? Fancy Girl? Platinum Cat? Where?
Donna: You know, I actually got them in Philadelphia, in a mall down there.
Kelly: Franklin Mills? King of Prussia? Springfield? Governor’s Place?
Donna: Uh, Franklin Mills.
Jim: [to Pam] What?
Pam: Hmm? Oh. It’s probably nothing.
- The best moment – The Morse code intro is one of the all time classics.
- The best storyline – Andy and Darryl, slightly outdoes Dwight undercover…barely.
- Notable guest appearance – Donna…it’s almost over.
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? – Maybe not, but man, should he be punched.
- Grade – B
Hard to get beyond the cheating thing. It really makes Michael look like a cad. Up to that point, it was a decent episode. The more Darryl the better, however. You can’t have too much of him and Andy. Kelly’s shopping questioning of Donna above is classic, and so is the intro.
- The Writer - Justin Spitzer
- Director – Mindy Kaling
- A brief synopsis - Michael has been dating Donna, the bartender from “Happy Hour.” He wants to give her a really good deal on a printer, and a lot more. Dwight, trying to keep Darryl from applying for a minority executive program, invites Kelly to apply, much to his eventual regret.
- The best line – Dwight: How as being a minority affected you?
Kelly: Well, there’s a lot of pressure from my parents to settle down and marry an Indian guy.
Dwight: Oh, good, and you resent this because…
Kelly: Indian guys always wear their cell phones outside their pants. It’s so dorky.
Dwight: Oh, no, no. That’s not dorky. [Dwight wears his phone like that] Look, it’s easily accessible. Boom, like this. 911, hello. Scranton Strangler’s in the house. Inside the house.
Kelly: Just put it in your pocket.
- The best moment – Darryl withdrawing his application because it coincided with his softball season.
- The best storyline – The “Print in all Colors” initiative is a bountiful field of comic potential.
- Notable guest appearance – Donna and Hide from “Happy Hour.”
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? – Plenty to get him canned here, if anyone cared enough to. Making a move on a customer, blatantly obvious favoritism in cost cutting, etc.
- Grade – B
Not even a major role for Kelly can keep this at A level when Michael is acting a fool. I love Dwight’s attempts at controlling the office through race, and when he call’s Erin “pale face.”
- The Writer - Mindy Kaling
- Director - Steve Carell
- A brief synopsis - Michael is coerced into taking Erin out to lunch for Secretary’s Day by Andy, resulting in Erin learning something about her new boyfriend that gives her pause. Kevin becomes the target of some gleeful razzing when Oscar makes a connection between he and the cookie monster. Gabe tries to step in and over steps, of course.
- The best line – Andy: It’s Secretary’s Day. And it is Erin’s and my three-week anniversary. So perfect storm for a romantic gesture. [Andy unfurling a giant "Happy Secretary's Day" banner by reception, placing a teddy bear on Erin's chair]. Want to make sure the whole office remembers it’s Secretary’s Day. I sent an e-mail blast, a text blast, a good, old-fashioned talk blast. I sent a snail mail blast a week ago. And a Stern reminder via fax at 7:00 this morning, so people better step up and appreciate the crap out of Erin.
- 2nd best line – Gabe: The beginning here has been a little bit of a fiasco. Either they don’t respect me or they respect me too much. And some of them still think that I’m the I.T. guy. This Cookie Monster thing is an opportunity to show people that I’m an authority figure.
- 3rd best line – Pam: [feels a pain in her breast] Ooh. Ah-ah-ah. Ha-ha.
Jim: What’s up?
Dwight: Her milk is coming in. She’s getting uncomfortable.
Jim: Dwight, don’t be gross.
Pam: No, no, he’s right.
Dwight: Same thing happens with my cows if I don’t tend them frequently enough. You gotta milk them, or else they’ll moo like crazy.
Pam: That’s weird, my breast pump is missing. Have you seen my breast pump?
Dwight: [removes jacket, applies hand sanitizer] All right, this is gonna traumatize me a hell of a lot more than you, believe me.
Pam: You know what, Dwight? Let me just check the bathroom first. Okay?
Dwight: Really? Fine. Let your breasts explode. Three squeezes and I would drain you.
Pam: Mm. [walks into bathroom, Meredith is using her brest pump] Meredith!
Meredith: I just like the way it feels.
Pam: What are you doing?!
Meredith: Just relax. Okay.
Meredith: This is like the Cadillac of pumps.
Pam: Give it back to me now.
Meredith: Okay, I was just warming it up.
Pam: It’s disgusting!
Meredith: It’s not a big deal.
Pam: It’s not sterile!
Meredith: We’re both girls. Who cares?
- The best moment – Erin taking a picture of Michael asking her to lunch.
- The best storyline – Pam, Jim taking advantage of Gabe’s lesser of two evils strategy.
- Notable guest appearance – n/a
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? – At this point, he is just kind of floating through.
- Grade – A-
Good episode directed by Carell. Kaling manages to keep him in fine comedic shape by giving him something to be annoyed by (Erin). What Erin goes through is truly sad, but funny nonetheless, as Kaling is not afraid to mine harsh moments for genuine yuks. Poor Andy, my God what he will do and fail at. This would get old if he and Erin were not so good at it. Kevin’s connection to the Cookie Monster was an incredibly inspired bit that gives everyone something to do.
- The Writers – B.J. Novak
- Director – Matt Sohn
- A brief synopsis – Oscar organizes a night out for the office and warehouse staff so he can get to know Matt a little better. Pam jumps at the opportunity to get out. Jim and Pam set up Michael with one of their friends, only to have it go sideways, when “Date Mike” shows up. Andy makes Erin go through hoops so they can “avoid the drama.” Dwight meets up with Isabel again, and decides to let Angela out of their “contract.”
- The best line -Dwight: Listen, can I talk to you for a second?
Dwight: Look, I’ve been thinking. We had a good run. We really did. But you don’t need to worry about this whole contract thing anymore.
Angela: It’s no worry.
Dwight: It’s just that we both-we want different things. You know, I want a big family.
Angela: I could see enjoying that.
Dwight: No, no, no, no. I want a big family. Tall. Thick. A big, physically big family. Listen, you go have fun. You’re off the hook.
Angela: But we signed the contract.
Dwight: Dissolved. Don’t worry, you’re free. Okay? Okay. See you later.
Angela: We both-you didn’t dup-
- The best moment – When Hide tells his story to an impressed Darryl.
- The best storyline – Dwight and Isabel, may they make a big family.
- Notable guest appearance – Kelen is back. God love her. Donna, played by Amy Pietz, plays Michael’s next romantic mistake. Hide, Darryl’s rescued heart surgeon, is played by Hidetoshi Imura.
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? - Nope, not here.
- Grade – A-
One of the better Novak episodes, given that he presents many of the characters in their best light. He brings Andy and Erin up to the precipice and then reels them back. Dwight has found his match in Isabel. I can only hope she becomes a regular at some point. Donna and Michael have a good beginning. Seeing Kevin yell at Pam’s breasts is one of those moments that will live on for years. Seeing Oscar on the prowl takes away some of the mythology of homosexual relationships. His portrayal is one of the most positive ever seen on TV of a homosexual. Believability is the key. It’s not all Will and Grace histrionics. All this, and I managed gleefully to avoid speaking of “Date Mike.” Mark my words, Darryl should be the next manager.
- The Writer and Director – Brent Forrester
- A brief synopsis – The sales staff is throwing their weight around now that Sabre has taken over with their emphasis on sales. Michael, of course, is jealous, and hides their new leads. Somehow they end up at the dump. So, of course only he and Dwight end up looking.
- The best line – Dwight: Michael? Michael, you were supposed to tell me when the leads came in.
Michael: Well, bigshot, ‘If you want to find your leads, go to the man who never breathes’.
Dwight: Kevin! Damnit [runs over to Kevin's desk] Kevin, give me those leads. Where are they? C’mon -
Kevin: You are never going to find them.
Kevin: I’m going to enjoy this.
Dwight: [begins to strangle him] Gimme the leads. Where are my leads?
Kevin: [muffled] I’m still enjoying it.
Dwight: Where are they?
Kevin: They’re in the trash. They’re in the trash.
Dwight: Turn the trash [releases him - Kevin coughs] It’s code. Alright, Meredith, take off your dress.
Meredith: [stands up and reaches for her buttons] Okey-dokey.
Kevin: No, dear god, no, it’s in the trash can. In the kitchen.
Meredith: It’s coming off anyway.
Dwight: [dashes to kitchen, overturns the trash can, tastes the bin liner] Clean sack.
Kevin: What -
Erin: I emptied it in the dumpster. With Toby’s baba ganoush.
- The best moment – Erin and Andy kiss at the dump, after she gives her his coat.
- The best storyline – I am going to cruise control with Andy and Erin, because the whole episode seems to be on cruise control.
- Notable guest appearance – The dump.
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? - Probably should be.
- Grade – C+
Too much Michael, too much at the fake dump with the superimposed background. Not enough Erin and Andy. But that’s what makes it work, right?
- The Writers – Jonathon Hughes
- Director - Randall Einhorn
- A brief synopsis – Michael mistakes Jo’s platitudes for signs that he actually likes her. What she does like is good ideas, and she proves it by giving Darryl Gabe’s office after he comes up with a new shipping format. Then the entire staff is held hostage on St. Patrick’s day as Jo decides she is going to work late.
- The best line -Kelly: I don’t want to bring my friends, why can’t it just be the two of us?
Ryan: Because it’s St. Patrick’s Day, people go out in groups.
Kelly: Well why don’t you invite your friends?
Ryan: Why are you being so weird about this?
Meredith: Stop fighting. Just on St Patrick’s Day, okay? Just one perfect day a year. No hassles, no problems, no kids.
Ryan: Why no kids?
Kelly: Yeah, where are your kids?
Meredith: Nope. Nuh -uh. Not today! [She walks away defiantly]
- The best moment – Jim using Dwight’s own ploy against him and leaving for an appointment, thus taking Dwight’s excuse out from under him.
- The best storyline – Erin and Andy on their first date! Not even sickness can derail them!
- Notable guest appearance – Kathy Bates as Jo. David Koechner as Packer!
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? – Probably not, but he did not know that, which made his decision to get them all out of there pretty cool.
- Grade – A
Having Kathy Bates on the show raised the caliber of The Office quite considerably, but Koechner, too? My goodness what a treat. That neither of them ends up being the highlight of the show demonstrates how great of an episode this was. That this would be Meridith’s one day is no surprise, but that she would interrupt Ryan trying to get Kelly to invite her friends to St. Patrick’s day…well that is not a surprise either. It is, however but it is a great, sleazy line.
- The Writers -Daniel Chun & Charlie Grandy
- The Directors - Seth Gordon & Harold Ramis
- A brief synopsis – Pam and Jim try to hold off going to the hospital because their horrible HMO would let them get an extra day if they go in past midnight. This works for a while, until the contractions become so frequent that the situation begins to wear on Jim. Seeing how having a baby is working for them, Dwight decides he needs to have a baby for business reasons and summarily calls upon Angela for the purpose. Andy attempts to get the courage to ask Erin out. Michael is a general nuisance: first inserting himself into the childbirth process, making things unbearable for Pam and Jim. Then anointing himself cupid and trying to put Kevin and Erin together, making things unbearable for Andy and Erin. Dwight, working as minion for Michael, finds mold in Jim and Pam’s kitchen, deciding to redo the kitchen, instead of just picking up the Ipod Pam asked him for. Along the way, he meets up with Pam’s friend Isabel once more. Pam and Jim, meanwhile, suffer through their first night of parent hood miserable with over-education and under-experience.
- The best line - Michael: Jim, as a matter of fact, I have printed out ten ways to induce labor. And I’m thinking we just do the opposite of those things and we can slow down your labor. Erin, read the first one.
Erin: Um, stimulate the nipples.
Michael: Okay, nobody touch Pam’s nipples. Think of Pam’s nipples as Toby’s grundle.
Kevin: Her shirt is touching them. Maybe we should cut holes in her shirt.
Meredith: I have a shirt like that in my car.
Michael: Okay, yeah, why don’t you go get it?
Erin: Okay, uh, the second one is walk around. We’re already doing the opposite of that. Perfect. Okay, number three, eat spicy foods.
Michael: Okay, the opposite of that?
Kevin: Stick spicy food up her butt.
Jim: Nope, nope, nope, nope. Come on, let’s go to the hospital. Pam, let’s go to the hospital right now.
- The best moment – Pam discovering that she had not only nursed the wrong baby but that baby was now “latched” to her.
- The best storyline – Isabel and Dwight, for sure, beating out the always reliable but taking forever to get there Erin and Andy.
- Notable guest appearance – Kelen Coleman as Isabel (yes!) and Linda Purl as Helene, Pam’s mom.
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? – God I wish someone could have put a muzzle on him this episode.
- Grade – B+
The only thing keeping this from an A is the overuse of Michael. We know, he disrupts everything, for no discernible purpose, but it has to flow, babe. Everybody seems to take their cue from him in his shared scenes. It throws them off their game. Well, everyone but Dwight. His genius never seems to abate. Great moments with Pam and Jim in the hospital, as well as Dwight both on the way and back at the new parent’s home. Erin and Andy are painfully close. I would love to see more of Kevin’s culinary skill and how his many meals work in the office daily. Kelen Coleman needs to become a weekly addition to the show. The episode is at times great, at as many times a source of frustration.
- The Writer – Mindy Kaling
- Director – Marc Webb
- A brief synopsis – CEO Mrs. Jo Stafford makes an appearance, and within minutes her dog is sniffing Andy’s crotch and she has determined that two bosses is a stupid idea. Jim and Michael then compete to see who becomes Manager and who becomes salesman. Andy gives cards to everyone in the office for Valentines day, hoping to make a point with Erin. Kelly Kapoor intercepts that point. Dwight and Ryan work to bring Jim down as manager.
- The best line – Michael: What is that smell? Do you smell that? What is that? Like a sulfur deposit under here?
Pam: Michael, stop.
Michael: No, I’m serious, we don’t have to put up… Is it the dogs?
Michael: You know what, we don’t have to deal with this. I am going to Google sulfur maps.
Dwight: Michael, it’s Phyllis.
Michael: No, this is geological.
Phyllis: I sent an email out to everyone in this area that this might be a side effect to my new allergy medication I’m on.
Michael: Are you kidding me?
Michael: And you guys are okay with this?
Dwight: She sent an email, so.
Phyllis: I did.
Andy: [has two tissues in his nostrils] It’s not cause of the smell. I’m just expecting a nosebleed.
Michael: Oh my God.
- 2nd best line – Michael: Hey.
Michael: You know, it’s funny. I used to stand in here and wish I was out there. Now I’m out there, and I wish I was in here.
Jim: Well, the grass is always greener.
Michael: Yeah. Except there’s no grass out there. It’s just a farty dirt patch.
Jim: Well, it’s what you wanted.
- The best moment – Every moment with Kathy Bates, but I am going to have to go with “They love a good crotch.”
- The best storyline – Andy and Erin never get old. This time with a confused Kelly in the mix: sublime.
- Notable guest appearance – Kathy Bates once more as Jo. The IT guy, as played by Nelson Franklin.
- Would Michael have been reprimanded? – In a heartbeat, if Jo thought much of his position. She’s a big picture gal, you see.
- Grade – A
Great storylines that benefit from the influx of new talent. But it’s Mindy Kaling that shines here, of course. Her instantaneous decision to respond to Andy’s unwitting advances make for many good moments, especially when you throw in Jo and her crotch sniffing dogs. The interplay with Jim and Michael’s dueling motivations is entertaining as well, especially when it is resolved with Michael deciding he’d rather mess around all day than possibly make more money. Extra points for the “Nard” Dogs and Jo walking out of a room full of questions with no cares whatsoever. Great episode.