Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews

Bullet to the Head – 2013

Director Walter Hill
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Sung Kang, Sarah Shahi, Christian Slater, Jason Momoa, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
Screenplay Alessandro Camon based on Du Plomb Dans La Tete by  Alexis Nolent

This is Stallone’s version of a comic book movie.  It has few things to recommend it.  One of them is getting to view a career of Stallone head shot photos as police mug shots.  My personal favorite: the actual shot from First Blood.  It actually looked like the real thing.  The only way it could have been a better sequence is if Nick Nolte starred in the movie.

Christian Slater is here.  He calls Stallone a dumb bell just before he spills all the beans.  “This goes way up, man!” he says.  Like it ever goes way down.  Anyone want to guess if he survives?

Jason Momoa, who played Conan The Barbarian in the remake,  He makes a good meathead bad guy.  Seeing him duke it out with Stallone in a bathroom is an entirely proper representation of this film.  Sung Kang seems like the kind of actor who could be good, with better material.  Some might consider the Fast and Furious films better material.  He definitely can kick some ass.  Akinnuoye-Agbaje gets more disappointing with every project he takes after blowing me away as Mr. Ecko on Lost.

Walter Hill directed 48 Hours, Southern Comfort, Geronimo, some episodes of Deadwood and produced all the Alien franchise.  I appreciate him for all that (except for AVP2).  He also directed Another 48 Hours, Brewster’s Millions, Last Man Standing and Supernova.  Remember that last one?  Yeah, neither does anyone else.  He was allowed a $90 million dollar budget for that one.  It made almost 1/6 of that.  This movie was given about half that budget, and it made about the same.  If he leaves a distinguishing mark on this film, it may be the indistinguishable gritty violence.

So, the name of the movie is not a reference to the many bullets fired into the many heads.  Believe me, there are many of those.  Stallone’s carries around a bottle of booze that no one else serves.  He pays money to “rent the glass.”  The bourbon’s name has something to do with Bullets.  That is what one would consider “personality.”  I consider it hard to remember.

(** out of *****)