Project X – 2012

Directed by Nima Nourizadeh
Starring Thomas Mann, Oliver Cooper, Jonathan Daniel Brown, Kirby Bliss Blanton, Alexis Knapp, Dax Flame
Screenplay by Matt Drake, Michael Bacall

“Oh my God,” says the guy holding the camera, “Dude that sign f#$@ing worked.”

Of course it did, because it’s part of the script.

Project X is a movie with many qualities.

  1. There is a guy holding a camera through the whole thing, just like every third movie these days.
  2. There is nothing but success at every turn.
  3. There are plenty of women’s body parts flailing about.
  4. There are young women, young men and the occasional old dude.
  5. There are 12 year olds with taser guns working security.
  6. There is a Jewish kid who has seen it all in his old residence of New York.
  7. This time, he actually does come up with some ideas that succeed.
  8. One such idea,getting everyone in the back yard as cops drive up, park, go to the front door and argue unsuccessfully to be let in the house.
  9. The cops then leave, the house explodes with sound and a Santa Gnome explodes with pills.
  10. Thomas Kub looks like Ferris Bueller’s friend Cameron.  This time, instead of just his Dad’s car, it’s the whole house and neighborhood.
  11. There’s a midget that gets thrown in the oven.  When he gets out, everyone gets a bite.
  12. The nice kid hooks up with the nice girl, early.  This of course goes bad.
  13. An insane amount of drugs are consumed by everyone, and chased with copious amounts of booze.
  14. Fat guys hook up, but fat chicks aren’t allowed.
  15. Every type of lewd behavior that one can imagine occurs, in an obnoxious and loud manner.  Even with dogs.
  16. Then there’s the guy who wants his gnome.
  17. There are no consequences, outside of popularity and getting the nice girl back.

If these factors are appealing to you, then please, by all means enjoy.  In the end, the kid whose parents own the house, sends his friend’s home.

“You gonna be okay man?” asks the guy who causes the entire mess.

“You’ll be alright,” says the camera man.

I am sure this is so.  It’s in the script.

(** out of *****)

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