Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews

Director Colin Eggleston
Screenplay Everett De Roche
Starring John Hargreaves, Briony Behets

Praised as one of the earlier screeds for environmentalists, The Long Weekend is a silly exercise that shows how a narcissistic couple oblivious to their effect on the environment gets their comeuppance.

Peter and Marcia (Hargreaves and Behets) are a married couple on the rocks. Marica agrees to go with Peter on a weekend camping trip. They bring along a dog, a gun and a small frozen chicken to cook on the campfire. Along the way they run over a kangaroo, flick a lit cigarette out the window to start a small fire, then get lost on their way to the site.

Throughout their time, they bicker back and forth about why they are there. She has no interest He’s clueless and just likes to shoot things. He takes a swim, she freaks out when she sees sharks in the water. ‘He gets out and shoots at something in the water some more.

The story tries to build tension, but it’s awkward at best, hilarious at worst. The story feels like it was written by someone who doesn’t ever go outside, shoot guns or camp.

That said, the story is a worthy one. It’s goal is to be a warning on the ramifications of abusing nature. The problem is, the correlation is not really there. Most of the things turn out to be coincidence.

During the weekend, they intend to find a couple of friends. Everything involved with their half-assed search for the other couple is confusingly oblique. Especially after they find them.

The film is executed poorly. The tension is too poorly represented to be effective. The feeling we are supposed to elicit is different than those we actually end up experiencing. By the time we get to the last act, we are tired of the couple and find sympathy for anything that crosses their path, especially their dog. What happens to the pup is worse than the fate of either of the two. It makes you wish it could happen to them again.

(* out of *****)