Category: 2 Stars
-
Alpha (**) Doesn’t have a dog in the hunt
This film will not stick with me too much beyond this week, to be sure. It’s just another approximation of stuff we’ll never be able to prove. Hughes might want to stick with future apocalypse stuff like The Book of Eli, since most of his work seems to be based on stuff placed for effect…
-
Tomb Raider (**) feels like an audition
It’s hard to say who this film is marketed towards. Croft is muscular and angular. There are almost no curves. Teenage boys who played the first game are old enough to have grand kids playing the game now. Not sure which of the generations need to feel pride in the accomplishments of a scrappy Croft…
-
Maze Runner: The Death Cure (**) blows up with a fizzle
O’Brien gives it the old college try this time out. There are no other performances that approach anything more than competence. It feels more like Battle for the Planet of the Apes than Shakespeare.
-
Cloverfield Paradox (**) Good cast, wasted
The Cloverfield Paradox – 2018 Director Julius Onah Screenplay Oren Uziel Starring Daniel Brühl, Elizabeth Debicki, Aksel Hennie, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Chris O’Dowd, John Ortiz, David Oyelowo, Zhang Ziyi As a surprise drop on Netflix a few hours after the Superbowl, The Cloverfield Paradox is packed full of references to the first two films of the series. The film goes a long way to…
-
Happy Death Day (**) If Disney made slasher films…
See it if you must, knowing most of the film and deaths are covered in the trailer. It’s always kind of a bummer when a film gets hamstrung by its advertising, but never having seen the trailer probably wouldn’t have made the film any more enjoyable.
-
The Midnight Meat Train (**) before he was Bradley Cooper and after he was Clive Barker
The Midnight Meat Train – 2008 Director Ryuhei Kitamura Screenplay Jeff Buhler based on the short story by Clive Barker Starring Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields, Roger Bart, Ted Raimi, Vinnie Jones, Tony Curran Watching The Midnight Meat Train is a weird feeling. Looking back at Bradley Cooper before he found his acting mojo, he still seems like a kid here, even though he…
-
Alien: Covenant (**) – IQ’s just dropped sharply
Alien Covenant – 2017 “If you really want a franchise, I can keep cranking it for another six. I’m not going to close it down again. No way.” – Ridley Scott, March 2017 Director Ridley Scott Screenplay John Logan, Dante Harper Starring Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demián Bichir, Carmen Ejogo, Amy Seimetz, Jussie Smollett, Callie Hernandez, Nathaniel…
-
Here Alone (**): If time is a luxury…
Here Alone – 2016 Director Rod Blackhurst Screenplay David Ebelhoft Starring Lucy Walters, Gina Piersanti, Adam David Thompson, Shane West Here Alone amounts to what feels like a Canadian version of a Zombie film. Everything is overcast, kind of dull and low budget. If time were a luxury, I suppose it might feel more nuanced…
-
The Purge Election Year (**) Trying to wedge social commentary into a horror film
If they really wanted to improve these films, they’d drop the politics and ramp up the creativity. Give it less a feel of government crackdown and more a sense of random chaos that can’t clean up after 12 hours.
-
X-Men Apocalypse (**): Where do we go from here?
Question 26. Is this the movie where acting goes to die?
Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews 