Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews

Category: 3 Stars

  • Big Eyes (***) – It’s just a bunch of one big lie

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    Big Eyes – 2014 Director Tim Burton Starring Amy Adams, Christoph Waltz, Danny Huston, Jon Polito, Krysten Ritter, Jason Schwartzman, Terence Stamp, Delaney Raye, Madeleine Arthur Screenplay Scott Alexander, Larry Karaszewski  The more you lie, the smaller you seem. Slogging through Tim Burton films has felt like work ever since the first time I watched Edward Scissorhands. Riding the wave of the success of…

  • Let’s Be Cops (***) football against little kids

    Let’s Be Cops (***) football against little kids

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    I may never watch this film again, but I will not soon forget the image of Ryan driving his police cruiser, lights blaring, onto a field where kids are playing ball just to prove to them that he had a day job. Nor will I forget Justin getting the worst end of a wacked out…

  • Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (***): Al Michaels’ Revenge

    Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (***): Al Michaels’ Revenge

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    “The women that Cusack brought to the first film had no business coming back to this, especially without him there to pine over. What’s left is every guy who spent most of their time since their late teens playing video games, eating foods high in carbs and spending too many weekend nights with their male…

  • Fifty Shades of Grey (***) attempts to level the playing field

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    Fifty Shades of Grey – 2015 Director Sam Taylor-Johnson Starring Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, Eloise Mumford, Victor Rasuk, Luke Grimes, Rita Ora, Max Martini, Callum Keith Rennie, Andrew Airlie, Dylan Neal, Marcia Gay Harden Screenplay Kelly Marcel based on the book by E.L. James After so many words stated both pro and con about the worthiness and value of this romance story disguised as a sex movie,…

  • The Babadook (***) Boy that kid is the real monster

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    The Babadook – 2014 Written & Directed by Jennifer Kent Starring Essie Davis, Noah Wiseman, Daniel Henshall, Hayley McElhinney, Barbara West, Ben Winspear Amelia’s got a sickly, annoying kid (Wiseman) who keeps her awake at night talking about Monsters. Her husband died in an accident on the way to have that kid delivered. She (Davis) works in a thankless job taking care…

  • The Hunger Games 3: Mockingjay 1 (***)

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    Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 – 2014 Director Francis Lawrence Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Stanley Tucci, Donald Sutherland, Natalie Dormer, Sam Clafin, Jena Malone Screenplay by Danny Strong, Peter Craig based on the book by Suzanne Collins At this point we’ve all become accepting of the process of dragging out books into multiple movies.…

  • Foxcatcher (***): It doesn’t take a genius to be born into money

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    Foxcatcher – 2014 Director Bennett Miller Starring Steve Carell, Channing Tatum, Mark Ruffalo, Vanessa Redgrave, Sienna Miller, Anthony Michael Hall Screenplay by E. Max Frye, Dan Futterman A story about misfits can be a sweet thing about overcoming adversity. In the case of Mark (Tatum) and Dave Shultz’ (Ruffalo) intersection with John “Golden Eagle” du Pont (Carrell), it is an eerie and dangerous…

  • Dallas Buyers Club (***) fights a bad guy too easy to criticize

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    Dallas Buyers Club – 2013 Director Jean-Marc Vallée Starring Matthew McConaughey, Jared Leto, Jennifer Garner, Griffin Dunne, Dennis O’Hare, Steve Zahn, Dallas Roberts, Kevin Rankin Screenplay by Craig Borten, Melisa Wallack One of the unwritten rules of movie awards is weight loss or transformations of a dramatic nature leads to Golden Statues. This formula worked twice for…

  • Deliver Us From Evil (***) survives

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    Deliver Us From Evil – 2014 Director Scott Derrickson Starring Eric Bana, Édgar Ramírez, Olivia Munn, Sean Harris, Joel McHale Screenplay by Derrickson and Paul Harris Boardman  Scott Derrickson has a way of making things seem really bad. Not just movie bad, but real, we’re not gonna make it bad. Sinister was replete with all sorts of things we’d all seen before, but…

  • Annabelle (***): Solid, but nothing you haven’t seen before

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    Annabelle – 2014 Director John R. Leonetti Starring Annabelle Wallis, Ward Horton, Tony Amendola, Alfre Woodard, Kerry O’Malley, Brian Howe, Eric Ladin, Ivar Brogger, Tree O’Toole, Kiera Daniels, Morganna May, Michelle Romano, Christopher Shaw Screenplay Gary Dauberman There is a consistency about the horror films of James Wan, from the Saw franchise through Insidious and The…