The Darkest Hour is indeed quite dim

The Darkest Hour – 2011

Directed by Chris Gorak
Starring Emille Hirsch, Max Minghella, Rachel Taylor, Olivia Thirlby, Joel Kinnaman
Screenplay by  Jon Spaihts

It’s not the fact that we get to see the film’s signature move, disintegrating humans, dogs, etc, hundreds of times.

It’s not the fact that the dialogue in the film is stiff enough to iron shirts on.

It’s not the fact that the characters in this film beg to be killed just to move the plot along.

It’s not the fact that the story only serves to set up a sequel.  Such a positive attitude.

It’s not the fact that the writer of this dreck co-wrote the film I have most looked forward to in the past 10 years: Prometheus. Thank God we still have Carlton Cuse.

It’s not the fact that many of the actors in this film who have done better work are indistinguishable from those whose earlier film credits include 3rd extra at their cousin’s birthday party.

It’s not the fact that the director doesn’t have talent.  In actual fact, he does have some nice technique.  He was the Art Director for Minority Report, Fight Club and The Man Who Wasn’t There.

It’s not the fact that the film is filmed in Russia.  The old country has rarely looked more modern and so historical simultaneously.

It’s not the fact that wearing a light bulb around your neck would not do you a whole lot of good once the thing that light’s it up arrives.

It’s not the fact that wrapping a cat in Christmas lights is not so much the sign of a mad genius as it is a lazy extension of this light bulb idea.

It’s not the fact that someone throwing handfuls of light bulbs onto a concrete floor actually expects any of them to actually function as light bulbs.

It’s not the fact that there is any discussion at all about “post-Armageddon” fashion would take place.

It’s not the fact that guns don’t work on these things, until you have a rag-tag group of Russians who use different guns.

It’s pretty much because I like the microwave gun idea.

That’s why this movie gets at least one star.

(* out of *****)

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