Your Sister’s Sister – 2012
Written and Directed by Lynn Shelton
Starring Emily Blunt, Rosemary DeWitt, Mark Duplass
Indy Rule #2 – Opening dialogue for 5 minutes is meant to replace a lack of money in the budget for any special effects.
Indy Rule #431 – The tough guy in an independent film is the guy who swears first.
Indy Rule #432 – That same guy is the one who will be killed as collateral damage in an action film.
Indy Rule #466 – “I miss my friend,” is a fake. In real life it means you don’t have a chance, but in independent films it means she is moving from platonic love to a crush.
Indy Rule #487 – Gently strumming guitar is indicative of healing.
Indy Rule #488 – Gently strumming guitar is also indicative of having no budget for soundtrack.
Indy Rule #492 – The only one doing anything resembling a violent encounter in a low-budget film is a woman who is about to fall for the guy she hit in a complete “misunderstanding.”
Indy Rule #503 – “Alone time,” is code for “you probably own more than 1 cat.”
Indy Rule #574 – Wine equals friendship. Anything harder equals more than “small talk.” There never is any beer on the screen.
Indy Rule #589 – 2 out of every 4 people in an independent film have recently walked away from a long-term relationship. 1 out of 3 have tried to get out of a “funk” for at least a year.
Indy Rule #631 – Boring conversations that most adults with responsibility avoid like the plague are considered relevant to connoisseurs of film.
Indy Rule #644 – Moving from a same-sex relationship to a one night stand with a guy is considered very interesting to the same connoisseurs.
Indy Rule #657 – Of course that same one night stand leads to awkwardness because, guess who’s platonic relationship was not so platonic?
Indy Rule #689 – As soon as the guy calls him self something like “Dr. Jack…” there is nothing else to say.
Indy Rule #702 – When the swear words out number the 10-cent words, it’s officially a “wild night.”
Indy Rule #705 – Most advanced people remember to include a scene with prophylactic in it.
Indy Rule #710 – Even sophisticated movie guys can admit they squeal and don’t last a minute.
Indy Rule #768 – It takes a really slow movie to mute the presence of Emily Blunt.
Indy Rule #798 – Sophisticated people can find really convoluted reasons to lie, just like the rest of us.
Indy Rule #827 – Warren Beatty phrase is something only film sophisticates and Carly Simon would know of in 2012.
Indy Rule #839 – Trying to get a vegetarian to eat meat or dairy counts as a subplot in any low-budget film.
Indy Rule #840 – Calling any such attempt inhumane is considered a resolution to that subplot.
Indy Rule #841 – Advanced folks can say they are “Emotionally allergic” to butter with a straight face.
Indy Rule #923 – Stories about shaving in a movie where the male protagonist rides a bicycle are considered equal to a tattoo in a movie where the male protagonist rides a motor cycle.
Indy Rule #956 – Females holding an awkward secret are likely to keep a straight face until the person they are keeping in the dark leaves the room.
Indy Rule #957 – Throwing a blanket over her head after the person leads the room is an acceptable option.
Indy Rule #1022 – “She hasn’t picked up a brush in years,” shows depth in the person you are discussing.
Indy Rule #1039 – Drinking morning coffee holding the cup with both hands next to the shore is a must. Even if the person is a male.
Indy Rule #1046 – Understanding sophisticates don’t ever complain about someone’s attempt to feed them vegetarian pancakes.
Indy Rule #1088 – It’s necessary to tell people who just broke up that: “You are more you, now.”
Indy Rule #1092 – It’s clever to reiterate and clear up confusion about the fact that prophylactic were used earlier in the film.
Indy Rule #1181 – Melodic drums make nice reading music.
Indy Rule #1182 – The same drums make great music for talking about doing it with your sister’s potential boyfriend.
Indy Rule #1183 – The same drums have a big role in any low-budget film with little to no money for a soundtrack.
Indy Rule #1185 – It’s necessary for sophisticated guys to cry about sex.
Indy Rule #1293 – Everyone reconciles and rallies around each other for better (or, usually, worse),…even if it means getting used to vegetarian food or watching someone paint.
Indy Rule #1294 – It’s okay to raise a kid without 2 parents, so long as you can get other adults to loosely commit, one of them financially unstable. No problems there.
Indy Rule #1300 – Washington State looks great on film, even if the screen is filled with sophisticated people who really are just full of crap.