Your Sister’s Sister is sophisticated and boring

your sisters sister

Your Sister’s Sister – 2012

Written and Directed by Lynn Shelton
Starring Emily Blunt, Rosemary DeWitt, Mark Duplass

Indy Rule #2 – Opening dialogue for 5 minutes is meant to replace a lack of money in the budget for any special effects.
Indy Rule #431 – The tough guy in an independent film is the guy who swears first.
Indy Rule #432 – That same guy is the one who will be killed as collateral damage in an action film.
Indy Rule #466 – “I miss my friend,” is a fake.  In real life it means you don’t have a chance, but in independent films it means she is moving from platonic love to a crush.
Indy Rule #487 – Gently strumming guitar is indicative of healing.
Indy Rule #488 – Gently strumming guitar is also indicative of having no budget for soundtrack.
Indy Rule #492 – The only one doing anything resembling a violent encounter in a low-budget film is a woman who is about to fall for the guy she hit in a complete “misunderstanding.”
Indy Rule #503 – “Alone time,” is code for “you probably own more than 1 cat.”
Indy Rule #574 – Wine equals friendship.  Anything harder equals more than “small talk.”  There never is any beer on the screen.
Indy Rule #589 – 2 out of every 4 people in an independent film have recently walked away from a long-term relationship.  1 out of 3 have tried to get out of a “funk” for at least a year.
Indy Rule #631 – Boring conversations that most adults with responsibility avoid like the plague are considered relevant to connoisseurs of film.
Indy Rule #644 – Moving from a same-sex relationship to a one night stand with a guy is considered very interesting to the same connoisseurs.
Indy Rule #657 – Of course that same one night stand leads to awkwardness because, guess who’s platonic relationship was not so platonic?
Indy Rule #689 – As soon as the guy calls him self something like “Dr. Jack…” there is nothing else to say.
Indy Rule #702 – When the swear words out number the 10-cent words, it’s officially a “wild night.”
Indy Rule #705 – Most advanced people remember to include a scene with prophylactic in it.
Indy Rule #710 – Even sophisticated movie guys can admit they squeal and don’t last a minute.
Indy Rule #768 – It takes a really slow movie to mute the presence of Emily Blunt.
Indy Rule #798 – Sophisticated people can find really convoluted reasons to lie, just like the rest of us.
Indy Rule #827 – Warren Beatty phrase is something only film sophisticates and Carly Simon would know of in 2012.
Indy Rule #839 – Trying to get a vegetarian to eat meat or dairy counts as a subplot in any low-budget film.
Indy Rule #840 – Calling any such attempt inhumane is considered a resolution to that subplot.
Indy Rule #841 – Advanced folks can say they are “Emotionally allergic” to butter with a straight face.
Indy Rule #923 – Stories about shaving in a movie where the male protagonist rides a bicycle are considered equal to a tattoo in a movie where the male protagonist rides a motor cycle.
Indy Rule #956 – Females holding an awkward secret are likely to keep a straight face until the person they are keeping in the dark leaves the room.
Indy Rule #957 – Throwing a blanket over her head after the person leads the room is an acceptable option.
Indy Rule #1022 – “She hasn’t picked up a brush in years,” shows depth in the person you are discussing.
Indy Rule #1039 – Drinking morning coffee holding the cup with both hands next to the shore is a must.  Even if the person is a male.
Indy Rule #1046 – Understanding sophisticates don’t ever complain about someone’s attempt to feed them vegetarian pancakes.
Indy Rule #1088 – It’s necessary to tell people who just broke up that: “You are more you, now.”
Indy Rule #1092 – It’s clever to reiterate and clear up confusion about the fact that prophylactic were used earlier in the film.
Indy Rule #1181 – Melodic drums make nice reading music.
Indy Rule #1182 – The same drums make great music for talking about doing it with your sister’s potential boyfriend.
Indy Rule #1183 – The same drums have a big role in any low-budget film with little to no money for a soundtrack.
Indy Rule #1185 – It’s necessary for sophisticated guys to cry about sex.
Indy Rule #1293 – Everyone reconciles and rallies around each other for better (or, usually, worse),…even if it means getting used to vegetarian food or watching someone paint.
Indy Rule #1294 – It’s okay to raise a kid without 2 parents, so long as you can get other adults to loosely commit, one of them financially unstable.  No problems there.
Indy Rule #1300 – Washington State looks great on film, even if the screen is filled with sophisticated people who really are just full of crap.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Your Sister’s Sister is sophisticated and boring

  1. [this comment contains a spoiler. Although I don’t think that’s really possible]

    I don’t think Ebert could have reviewed this film better. I just watched it, and this totally, thoroughly and absolutely sums the whole thing up.

    Someone, somewhere had a formula identical to the one above. Sadly, it didn’t include a direction to kill off the guy, feed him to bears and raise his baby on a lesbian vegan commune on an island in Washington State.

    The Common Sense Media review of this movie is fascinating

    http://www.fandango.com/yoursisterssister_147903/criticreviews#csmreview

    particularly where it mentions safe sex having been practiced; entirely missing the point that the sex *wasn’t* safe at all. The plot was even more full of holes than the prophylactic; how did that condom come about? Was it one the sister’s sister had prepared earlier? Was she mooning around that kitchen, alone on the island, hoping for someone to come and father a baby?

    These and other important questions deserve an answer.

    1. Thank you for your reply. I love reviewing films if for no other reason than someone needs to tell the truth that just because a film has no budget, it does not mean the film is any good. In fact it can often mean that the people that could have given the film money to be made saw that it would make no money because it had many problems.

      As for the answers…it seemed to me that she had that lined up for whomever she would meet. Or she just found a pin in the bathroom to make a perfectly symmetrical series of pin pricks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s