Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews

Author: coolpapae

  • Frozen: I love warm hugs!

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    coolpapae
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    Frozen – 2013 Directors Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee Starring Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Jonathan Groff, Josh Gad, Santino Fontana, Ciarán Hinds, Chris Williams, Edie McClurg Screenplay Jennifer Lee based on The Snow Queen by Hans Christian Andersen I hope I never get too old to appreciate the effect of a magical story on a child-like heart.  Watching this movie with my daughters was a transformative event for…

  • 2 Guns: Not enough bullets

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    2 Guns – 2013 Director Baltasar Kormákur Starring Denzel Washington, Mark Wahlberg, Paula Patton, Bill Paxton, Fred Ward, James Marsden, Edward James Olmos, Robert John Burke Screenplay Blake Masters based on the book by Steven Grant There is a lot of star power in this film.  Personality just jumps off the screen at every turn.  We have Wahlberg somewhere between the knowing novice of his early…

  • Mortal Instruments: City of Bones is what happens when Twilight succeeds

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    Mortal Instruments: City of Bones – 2013 Director Harald Zwart Starring Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower, Robert Sheehan, Kevin Zegers, Lena Headey, Kevin Durand, Aidan Turner, Jemima West, Godfrey Gao, C. C. H. Pounder, Jared Harris, Jonathan Rhys Meyers Screenplay Jessica Postigo Paquette based on the book by Cassandra Clare When Griffin Mill mocked his fellow producers who wanted “eliminate the writer from the artistic process,” this can’t have been what…

  • The Hangover Part III and Kick-Ass 2: Delightful if not so funny

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    The Hangover Part III – 2013 Director Todd Phillips Starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Ken Jeong, Heather Graham, Jeffrey Tambor, Justin Bartha, Jamie Chung, John Goodman Screenplay Todd Phillips, Craig Mazin Kick-Ass 2 – 2013 Writer and Director Jeff Wadlow Starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloë Grace Moretz, Jim Carrey, Clark Duke, Olga Kurkulina, Lindy Booth, John Leguizamo, Morris Chestnut, Donald Faison Two notable comedies had sequels in the summer of 2013, and both…

  • The Heat: What happens when you put these two together

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    The Heat – 2013 Director Paul Feig Starring Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy, Demián Bichir, Marlon Wayans, Michael Rapaport, Jane Curtin, Dan Bakkedahl, Taran Killam,  Michael McDonald, Tom Wilson, Bill Burr Screenplay Katie Dippold This is written by a woman.  I keep telling myself this, to no avail.  The number of curse words that emanate from the mouths of women, it feels like an Olympic achievement by the…

  • Percy Jackson Sea of Monsters: Harmless Bite

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    Percy Jackson Sea of Monsters – 2013 Director Thor Freudenthal Starring Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Alexandra Daddario, Douglas Smith, Leven Rambin, Jake Abel, Stanley Tucci, Nathan Fillion Screenplay Marc Guggenheim based on the book by Rick Riordan Logan Lerman was around 15 when he made the first Percy Jackson movie.  By the time he made this one, he was a fully developed 20-year-old and had considerably…

  • The Way Way Back Sam Rockwell’s take on Bill Murray

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    The Way Way Back – 2013 Written and Directed by Nat Faxon, Jim Rash Starring Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Allison Janney, AnnaSophia Robb, Sam Rockwell, Maya Rudolph, Liam James, Rob Corddry, Amanda Peet There are some laughs nestled in this summer home coming of age in the age of divorced parents melodrama.  There’s a fair amount of depressing stuff in here too.  The Way Way Back…

  • Turbo is kind of slow on the uptake

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    Turbo – 2013 Director David Soren Starring (Voice) Ryan Reynolds, Paul Giamatti, Michael Peña, Snoop Dogg, Maya Rudolph, Michelle Rodriguez, Samuel L. Jackson, Bill Hader, Snoop Dogg, Luis Guzmán, Richard Jenkins, Ken Jeong, Michael Bell Screenplay David Soren, Robert Siegel, Darren Lemke Taking elements from one of the least artistically successful Pixar films (Cars) and one of the Pixar films most people forgot (Ratatouille) we have a…

  • Ender’s Game: Show Don’t Tell

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    Ender’s Game – 2013 Director Gavin Hood Starring Asa Butterfield, Harrison Ford, Ben Kingsley, Viola Davis, Hailee Steinfeld, Abigail Breslin Screenplay Gavin Hood based on the book Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card One cannot underestimate how badly I wanted for this venture to succeed.  After the heaping of vitriol the producers of the film withstood from those who felt that the book should be punished for…

  • CPE, Em & El: Thor: The Dark World: More Loki, anyone?

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    Thor: The Dark World – 2013 Director Alan Taylor Starring Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgård, Idris Elba, Christopher Eccleston, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Kat Dennings, Ray Stevenson, Zachary Levi, Tadanobu Asano, Jaimie Alexander, Rene Russo Screenplay Christopher Yost, Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely It’s no surprise that Loki is one of the first characters that you see after the prologue of Thor: The Dark World.  It’s a short…