Golden Sombrero (**): Year One Pees on its own face
“This is not the miracle that pushed this great writer, actor and director back into the spotlight. It’s just a below average vehicle for two comic actors near the end of their prime. “
MA (**) same as it never was
“There are no real bad performances, but the editing in the third act is enough to turn this horror into a comedy, however unintentionally.”
Jexi (**) is an uneven attempt at being inoffensive
“They almost had something here. Good thing no one can be offended, though.”
This Child’s Play (**) should have been left in the box
This will likely be the last Child’s Play not played by Brad Dourif for me. Based on the Box Office compared to budget, they may squeeze a few more of this iteration out, but the results with be diminishing.
Friday The 13th Chronology: The First 8, because they were cheap.
I have resisted watching or reviewing these films for some time. I was always partial to Michael Myers, for better or worse, and the times I watched these films, it […]
Villians (**) is bad as its poster
I didn’t hate the film is not a very high selling point.
Captive State (**) is a long shot
“Wyatt and co-writer spend so much time setting up the labyrinthian plot, we are allowed little time to invest in learning much about any particular character. The end result plays more sterile than it probably should. The surprise we’re expecting is more of an obligation than a relief. “
The Circle (**) is ever closing
“What possible strengths the story could have are undermined in its own ridiculousness. Two great performances by the late Paxton and Headley seem out of place when contrasted by the rest of the cast. “
Escanaba in da moonlight (**) I guess ya had da be dere
Jeff Daniels is always worth sticking it out, if you bother starting this. Otherwise, its for fart joke completists, only.
Alpha (**) Doesn’t have a dog in the hunt
This film will not stick with me too much beyond this week, to be sure. It’s just another approximation of stuff we’ll never be able to prove. Hughes might want to stick with future apocalypse stuff like The Book of Eli, since most of his work seems to be based on stuff placed for effect more than researched. At least the future hasn’t occurred for us to see he’s kind of playing us for effect.
Tomb Raider (**) feels like an audition
It’s hard to say who this film is marketed towards. Croft is muscular and angular. There are almost no curves. Teenage boys who played the first game are old enough to have grand kids playing the game now. Not sure which of the generations need to feel pride in the accomplishments of a scrappy Croft who is not as sure of herself till just before the credits roll.
Maze Runner: The Death Cure (**) blows up with a fizzle
O’Brien gives it the old college try this time out. There are no other performances that approach anything more than competence. It feels more like Battle for the Planet of the Apes than Shakespeare.
Cloverfield Paradox (**) Good cast, wasted
The Cloverfield Paradox – 2018 Director Julius Onah Screenplay Oren Uziel Starring Daniel Brühl, Elizabeth Debicki, Aksel Hennie, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Chris O’Dowd, John Ortiz, David Oyelowo, Zhang Ziyi As a surprise drop on Netflix a few hours after […]
Happy Death Day (**) If Disney made slasher films…
See it if you must, knowing most of the film and deaths are covered in the trailer. It’s always kind of a bummer when a film gets hamstrung by its advertising, but never having seen the trailer probably wouldn’t have made the film any more enjoyable.
The Midnight Meat Train (**) before he was Bradley Cooper and after he was Clive Barker
The Midnight Meat Train – 2008 Director Ryuhei Kitamura Screenplay Jeff Buhler based on the short story by Clive Barker Starring Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields, Roger Bart, Ted Raimi, Vinnie Jones, Tony Curran Watching The Midnight Meat Train […]
Alien: Covenant (**) – IQ’s just dropped sharply
Alien Covenant – 2017 “If you really want a franchise, I can keep cranking it for another six. I’m not going to close it down again. No way.” – Ridley Scott, March […]
