Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews

Category: 3 Stars

  • This Is the End of all the snacks

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    This is the End – 2013 Written and Directed by Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg Starring Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen, James Franco, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride, Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Emma Watson, Mindy Kaling, Paul Rudd, Aziz Ansari This is exactly the movie that you thought it would be.  It’s a movie where everyone gets to play a…

  • Elysium has no more than one answer to the world’s ills

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    Elysium – 2013 Written and Directed by Neill Blomkamp Starring Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley, Alice Braga, Diego Luna, William Fichtner, Wagner Moura, Faran Tahir Alice Braga is one of the most beautiful women in the world.  Her beauty is breathtaking.  I spent much of Elysium wondering how in the world it was that Max De…

  • World War Z: Carefully plotted and executed

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    World War Z – 2013 Director Marc Foster Starring Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Fana Mokoena, Daniella Kertesz, James Badge Dale, David Morse, Ludi Boeken, Matthew Fox, Abigail Hargrove, Sterling Jerins, Fabrizio Zacharee Guidoas Screenplay by Matthew Michael Carnahan, Drew Goddard, Damon Lindelof There is a point in World War Z where Brad Pitt’s former UN Employee Gerry Lane…

  • Jack the Giant Slayer another fairy tale with automatic weapons

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    Jack The Giant Slayer – 2013 Directed by Bryan Singer Starring Nicholas Hoult, Ewan McGregor, Eleanor Thompson, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Bill Nighy, John Kassir, Ewan Bremner, Ralph Brown Written by Darren Lemke, Christopher McQuarrie, Dan Studney Why is Bryan Singer directing a movie about a fairy tale?  Really.  The Usual Suspects. X-Men.  Valkyrie.  Now, a fairy tale.…

  • 21 & Over is good crass comedy

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    21 & Over – 2013 Writers & Directors Jon Lucas, Scott Moore Starring Justin Chon, Miles Teller, Skylar Astin, Sarah Wright, Francois Chau, Samantha Futerman How many times has this movie been made?  Twice, maybe three times a year.  Young, seemingly responsible kid (Justin Chon) out with friends for one more night of wild debauched fun…

  • Dead Man Down: Since they rarely stand up…

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    Dead Man Down – 2013 Director Niels Arden Oplev Starring Colin Ferrell, Noomi Rapace, Terence Howard, Dominic Cooper, Isabelle Huppert, F. Murray Abraham, Armand Assante Written by J.H. Wyman A good movie with a stupid title is often impossible to overcome.  Dead Man Down is a multi-tiered revenge tale in which a mobster Alphonse Hoyt (Howard) feels the…

  • The Call: Hello? You there?

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    The Call – 2013 Director Brad Anderson Starring Halle Berry, Morris Chestnutt, Abigail Breslin, Michael Eklund, Michael Imperioli, David Otunga, José Zúñiga, Denise Dowse Screenplay Richard D’Ovidio Emergency call support has to be one of the least rewarding professions.  If everything goes right, you are usually disconnected by the time something good happens.  What you do get to hear is…

  • Beautiful Creatures is a sterile experience

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    Beautiful Creatures – 2013 Written and Directed by Richard LaGravenese Starring Alden Ehrenreich, Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons, Viola Davis, Emmy Rossum, Thomas Mann, Emma Thompson Based on the book by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl First things first.  I hate the accent applied by Ehrenreich.  Normally bad accents don’t serve as much of a distraction, but this one…

  • Safe Haven: This is turning into a routine…

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    Safe Haven – 2013 Director Lasse Hallström Starring Julianne Hough, Josh Duhamel, David Lyons, Cobie Smulders, Red West Screenplay Gage Lansky, Dana Stevens, based on the book by Nicholas Sparks Lasse Hallström is a director with a past appealing to the ladies.  Starting off doing a bunch of ABBA videos and then ABBA: The Movie, he has had…

  • Dark Skies could be more surprising

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    Dark Skies – 2013 Written and Directed by Scott Stewart Starring Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, Dakota Goyo, Kadan Rockett, J.K. Simmons, Brian Stepanek, L.J. Benet, Annie Thurman Every aspect of Dark Skies leads to one conclusion.  It is a shame, too, because the journey towards this conclusion is faithfully executed and is quite earnest in its work.…