Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews

Author: coolpapae

  • 47 Ronin is not quite enough when you have too many F/X

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    coolpapae
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    47 Ronin – 2013 Director Carl Rinsch Starring Keanu Reeves, Hiroyuki Sanada, Kou Shibasaki, Tadanobu Asano, Min Tanaka, Jin Akanishi, Masayoshi Haneda, Hiroshi Sogabe, Neil Fingleton, Takato Yonemoto, Hiroshi Yamada, Shu Nakajima, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Rinko Kikuchi, Yorick van Wageningen, Rick Genest Writer Chris Morgan, Hossein Amini The late Sam Kinison had a routine regarding Jim and Tammy Faye Baker’s take on Christianity in which he, as the voice of God, feigns a search through…

  • The Book Thief: My ghost is still with you

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    The Book Thief – 2013 Director Brian Percival Actors Geoffrey Rush, Emily Watson, Sophie Nélisse, Ben Schnetzer, Nico Liersch, Roger Allam, Barbara Auer Writer Michael Petroni based on the novel by Markus Zusak Narrator: One small fact: you are going to die. Despite every effort, no one lives forever. Sorry to be such a spoiler. My advice is when the time comes,…

  • Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues is long and necessary for the survival of the human race

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    Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues – 2013 Director Adam McKay Actors Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, David Koechner, Christina Applegate, Meagan Good, James Marsden, Kristen Wiig, Fred Willard, Chris Parnell, Dylan Baker, Greg Kinnear, Josh Lawson, Harrison Ford Writers Ferrell and McKay As a sequel to one of the great comedies of modernity, Anchorman 2 was bound to disappoint.  And disappoint it does, early and often.  There are too…

  • The Kings of Summer is two jacks and a dunce

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    The Kings of Summer – 2013 Director Jordan Vogt-Roberts Actors Nick Robinson, Moisés Arias, Gabriel Basso, Alison Brie, Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally Writer Chris Galletta The intended strong point for The Kings of Summer is quirkiness that falls somewhere between Stand by Me and Napoleon Dynamite.  Taking the coming of age cliché and making it an extended camp out, the 3 erstwhile kings…

  • 12 Years a Slave: Real Real Gone

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    12 Years A Slave – 2013 Director Steve McQueen Actors Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender, Benedict Cumberbatch, Paul Dano, Paul Giamatti, Lupita Nyong’o, Sarah Paulson, Brad Pitt, Alfre Woodard Writer John Ridley based on the book by Solomon Northup I have owned a copy of Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ for 10 years, and have yet to watch the film.  In my heart, it is easy…

  • American Hustle: Like flowers, but with garbage

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    American Hustle – 2013 Director David O. Russell Starring Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Jennifer Lawrence Screenplay Eric Warren Singer and Russell There is a feeling of barely restrained whimsy in the events of American Hustle.  Instead of being the kind of film that aspires to be truthful while embellishing the facts, Russell and co-writer Singer make the…

  • Nebraska: The best actor’s Forte.

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    Nebraska – 2013 Directed by Alexander Payne Starring Will Forte, Bruce Dern, June Squibb, Stacey Keach, Bob Odenkirk Screenplay Bob Nelson Bruce Dern has been in a lot of stuff.  He’s been pretty good, too.  My personal favorites are no-good Joe Danby in Support Your Local Sheriff and the brutal Asa Watts from The Cowboys.  His…

  • I Don’t Have A Vote: 86th Oscars…feel the excitement

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    The 86th Annual Oscars – Try to stay awake My excitement for the Oscars has never been more quaint.  I enjoy the spectacle, but more often than not find myself astounded at who is nominated (Gravity? Really?  For anything more than technical?) and who is not (The Great Gatsby?  Really?  For only technical?).  This year…

  • Machete Kills (*): Garbage in…garbage out

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    Machete Kills – 2013 Director Robert Rodriguez Starring Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofía Vergara, Amber Heard, Antonio Banderas, Lady Gaga, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Walt Goggins, William Sadler, Demián Bichir, Mel Gibson Screenplay Kyle Ward “I have high hopes for you, Mr. Machete.  Higher than you can mentally ascend to.” Ah, Machete.  Ah, humanity. The first thing we see in Machete Kills is a trailer indicating that…

  • Fruitvale Station (***1/2) – All sales are final

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    Fruitvale Station – 2013 Written and Directed by Rylan Coogler Starring Michael B. Jordan, Melonie Diaz, Octavia Spencer, Ahna O’Reilly, Kevin Durand , Chad Michael Murray If the point of the movie is to show the value of a human life in the time frame of the last day, they had me at the moment Oscar Grant III (Jordan) first…