Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews

Category: 2.5 Stars

  • Noah (**1/2)…Right?

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    Noah – 2014 Director Darren Aronofsky Starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Ray Winstone, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Anthony Hopkins, Douglas Booth, Leo McHugh , Frank Langella Screenplay Aranofsky and Ari Handel So the first thing about any movie is that it should be entertaining.  As stated in the Bible, Noah’s story is open for a bit of interpenetration, in the same way…

  • 300 Rise of an Empire – Introducing the “B” Team

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    300 Rise of an Empire – 2014 Director Noam Murro Starring Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Hans Matheson, Rodrigo Santoro Screenplay Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad 300 Rise of an Empire is a story, starting with the Battle of Marathon and concluding with the Battle of Salamis.  This is before, during and after the Battle of Thermopylae which is the focus of the…

  • Gambit loses the bet

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    Gambit – 2012 Director Michael Hoffman Starring Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, Cameron Diaz, Tom Courtenay, Stanley Tucci, Cloris Leachman Writers Joel and Etan Cohen Gambit is a film who’s pedigree and history is more interesting than the film itself.  It’s not for lack of trying, but the original Shirley MaClaine and Michael Caine film nominated for 3…

  • The East is inspired nonsense

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    The East – 2013 Director Zal Batmanglij Starring Brit Marling, Alexander Skarsgård, Ellen Page, Patricia Clarkson, Jamey Sheridan Screenplay Batmanglij and Marling In the life of a young, independent filmmaker, you only get so many chances.  Batmanglij has been working with Brit Marling since they went to Georgetown together.  Their work together has created enough interest with the film The Sound…

  • The Man of Tai Chi is a real labor of love

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    The Man of Tai Chi – 2013 Director Keanu Reeves Starring Tiger Chen, Keanu Reeves, Iko Uwais, Karen Mok, Simon Yam Screenplay Michael G. Cooney While filming The Matrix, Keanu Reeves met Tiger Chen for the first time as he taught him the martial arts.  While I am not an expert on the types and ways of the martial arts, it’s…

  • The Wolf of Wall Street is a worn out path

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      The Wolf of Wall Street – 2013 Director Martin Scorsese Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, Matthew McConaughey, Kyle Chandler, Rob Reiner, Jon Favreau, Jean Dujardin Screenplay Terence Winter based on the book by Jordan Belfort All throughout The Wolf of Wall Street, I wondered who it was exactly Scorsese was appealing to.  It made a boatload of money and people…

  • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Opportunity Lost and Exhausted

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    The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug – 2013 Director Peter Jackson Starring Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, Benedict Cumberbatch, Evangeline Lilly, Lee Pace, Luke Evans, Ken Stott, James Nesbitt, Orlando Bloom, Aidan Turner Screenplay by Fran Walsh, Phillippa Boyens, Peter Jackson, Guillermo del Toro based on the book The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien I can remember when I first saw the movie Star Wars: Attack of the…

  • White House Down: Because White House Up is too heavy

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    White House Down – 2013 Director Roland Emmerich Starring Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jason Clarke, Richard Jenkins, James Woods, Joey King Screenplay James Vanderbilt Rule 604: Kids are convenient vehicles for jingoistic propaganda.  Make it look like they still believe. Rule 606: It also helps if the president looks at the capital scene with wide-eyed wonder. Rule 607: Throwing out snippets…

  • The Internship: …and we learned so much about ourselves going to the nudie bar

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    The Internship -2013 Director Shawn Levy Starring Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Rose Byrne, Max Minghella, Joanna Garcia, Josh Brener, John Goodman, Dylan O’Brien, Tiya Sircar, Jessica Szohr, Aasif Mandvi, Josh Gad Screenplay by Vaughn and Jared Stern The Internship plays like a mixture of the worst elements of every college film ever made.  This time the college is the coolest place to work in the world.…

  • Grown Ups 2: High Fiving White Guys…and Chris Rock

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    Grown Ups 2 – 2013 Director Denis Dugan Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Salma Hayek, Maya Rudolph, Maria Bello, Nick Swardson, Tim Meadows Screenplay Adam Sandler, Tim Herlihy, Fred Wolf It’s got Shaquille O’Neal, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Andy Samberg, Milo Ventimiglia, Taylor Lautner and Cheri Oteri.  It even has one of Schwarzenegger’s kids.  It even has Nick Swardson, doing what he does…