Don't think. It will all be better that way.
There is a recipe out there somewhere to make a valiant woman's story without sacrificing her male counterpart. They almost made it here, but the "let me clean up your mess" feeling of the story doesn't quite make it. Still, it's message is good enough to accompany it's remarkable visuals. I am going to assume no one will need to say "she persisted" someday. They will just say the protagonist persisted.
Let's be serious though. This isn't mensa material. It's a big dumb action comedy. There is nothing here as funny as Thurber's Terry Tate, Office Linebacker and thank goodness there is nothing nearly as bad as We're The Millers. It might get a few sequels, and that's fine. I'm pretty sure I won't remember one joke in 5 years, but I will smile when I think about it, just the same.
Furious 7 - 2015 Director James Wan Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris Bridges, Kurt Russell, Jason Statham Screenplay Chris Morgan If one could sum up the entire Furious franchise in 3 phrases, it would be: I don't have friends. I got family. I live life a quarter-mile at a time. One last ride. At this point, … Continue reading Furious 7 (***1/2): Meatball Hallmark Card
Fast & Furious 6 - 2013 Director Justin Lin Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson,Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris Bridges, Sung Kang, Luke Evans, Gina Carano, John Ortiz Screenplay Chris Morgan Into the void of PG-13 summer action sprang forth the 6th film in the Fast & Furious franchise. There is a point to all of this speed and fury, I am sure of … Continue reading Fast & Furious 6: High Tech Lemonade
Pain & Gain - 2013 Director Michael Bay Starring Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Ed Harris Screenplay Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely based on the book by Pete Collins Let's not get down to the nitty-gritty on this. No one will benefit from knowing whether the events in the movie are true or not. What is remarkable is the … Continue reading Pain & Gain: Meat
G.I. Joe: Retaliation - 2013 Director John M. Chu Starring Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis, D.J. Cotrona, Byung-hun Lee, Adrianne Palicki, Ray Park, Jonathan Pryce, Ray Stevenson, Channing Tatum, Luke Bracey, Walton Goggins, Joseph Mazzello, Robert Baker, James Carville, RZA Screenplay Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick Probably on video. Definitely. One had every reason to look forward to the second installment of G.I. Joe, and almost as … Continue reading G.I. Joe: Retaliation: Caricatures will die…
Snitch - 2013Director Ric Roman Waugh Starring Dwayne Johnson, Barry Pepper, Susan Sarandon, Benhamin Bratt, Jon Bernthal, Michael Kenneth Williams Written by Justin Haythe and WaughSo why would any fan of Dwayne Johnson want to see this film? There are no guns. There are no fast cars. There are no explosions. We don't get to see the people's … Continue reading Snitch: Big Truck…small payload.
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island - 2012 Director Brad Peyton Starring Josh Hutcherson, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Michael Caine, Vanessa Hudgens, Luis Guzman Screenplay by Brian and Mark Gunn Luis Guzman has been in a bunch of good films, and he has done well in them. Films like The Limey, Carlito's Way, Boogie Nights, Traffic and Dreamer. He's … Continue reading Journey 2: The Mysterious Island; There will be a third.
Fast Five - 2011 Directed by Justin Lin Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, Dwayne Johnson, Gal Gadot, Joaquim de Almeida, Matt Schulze, Sung Kang Written by Chris Morgan This series is never going to end. At a point where most franchises have long run out of steam, this one made … Continue reading Fast Five. Duh.