Author: coolpapae
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Vampire Academy Action, Exposition, Action, Exposition vomit.
Vampire Academy – 2014 Director Mark Waters Starring Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry, Danila Kozlovsky, Gabriel Byrne, Dominic Sherwood, Joely Richardson, Olga Kurylenko, Sarah Hyland Screenplay by Daniel Waters based on the book by Richelle Mead There is a moment in the hyper-kinetic story Vampire Academy when, in the midst of some crucial exposition between the two protagonists, a crow flies…
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They finally get Godzilla right, but does it really matter?
Godzilla – 2014 Director Gareth Edwards Starring Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ken Watanabe, Elizabeth Olsen, Juliette Binoche, Sally Hawkins, David Strathairn, Bryan Cranston Screenplay Max Borenstein based on Godzilla by Toho The world’s been destroyed so many times in so many worthless films that when watching the previews of Godzilla, there is a fair amount of exhaustion at the prospect of having to go through more decimation.…
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3 Days to Kill there has to be a deadline
3 Days to Kill – 2014 Director McG Starring Kevin Costner, Amber Heard, Hailee Steinfeld, Connie Nielsen, Richard Sammel, and Eriq Ebouaney Screenplay Adi Hasak, Luc Besson Awkward is something that has really worked well for Kevin Costner in the past. He’s great at answering questions at inconvenient times while trying to work it into the present…
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Ride Along is what you call a vehicle
Ride Along – 2014 Director Tim Story Starring Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, John Leguizamo, Bruce McGill, Tika Sumpter, Laurence Fishburne Screenplay Greg Coolidge, Jason Mantzoukas, Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi Ice Cube is one of the most likable stars out there. It must be the permanent scowl. Ever since the movie BarberShop, the secret’s been out, though. The director of BarberShop, Tim Story, has had a consistent…
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Drinking Buddies or why I tend to hate independent films
Drinking Buddies – 2014 Writer and Director Joe Swanberg Starring Olivia Wilde, Jake Johnson, Anna Kendrick, Ron Livingston 1) They call it a comedy. There are no laughs at the screen, and only booze induced laughs coming from the screen. 2) Most characters are the most boring people you would ever want to meet. 3) Movie spends way too much…
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I, Frankenstein is not the dumbest movie of all time
I, Frankenstein – 2014 Director Stuart Beattie Starring Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, Socratis Otto, Jai Courtney, Kevin Grevioux Screenplay Kevin Grevioux, Stuart Beattie Aaron Eckhart is a man capable of good acting. His performance in Erin Brockovich, In The Company of Men, Thank You for Smoking and The Dark Knight stand out with the best films in any career. He’s rarely been…
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Homefront – Statham gets the “benefit” of Stallone’s experience
Homefront – 2013 Director Gary Fleder Starring Jason Statham, James Franco, Winona Ryder, Kate Bosworth, Rachelle Lefevre, Frank Grillo, Clancy Brown, Izabela Vidovic Screenplay Sylvester Stallone based on Homefront by Chuck Logan Stallone’s film formula has been the equal to “he punched me first” for as long as I can remember. Statham has been doing the same stuff since he stopped working with Guy Ritchie. It was only…
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The Man of Tai Chi is a real labor of love
The Man of Tai Chi – 2013 Director Keanu Reeves Starring Tiger Chen, Keanu Reeves, Iko Uwais, Karen Mok, Simon Yam Screenplay Michael G. Cooney While filming The Matrix, Keanu Reeves met Tiger Chen for the first time as he taught him the martial arts. While I am not an expert on the types and ways of the martial arts, it’s…
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Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit needs to retire
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit – 2014 Director Kenneth Branagh Starring Chris Pine, Kevin Costner, Kenneth Branagh, Keira Knightley Screenplay Adam Cozad, David Koepp based on characters created by Tom Clancy Once upon a time, this was a good series looking to become great. About the moment Harrison Ford offered up a check from the U.S. Government to purchase a used Helicopter, it…
Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews 