Shazam! Fury of the Gods (*1/2) is a last gasp
If there’s nothing else – and here there really isn’t – the film is worth viewing just for Levi alone.
V/H/S/99 (*1/2): It’s not scary if it lacks imagination
If one finds any of these segments more scary than annoying, they’ve got a lot of patience and not much in the way of expectations when it comes to story telling. It’s not easy to envision the future of film making in this crowd.
Shark Bait (*1/2) Ooh Ha Ha
If you ever wanted to see a more scenic and less intelligent version of Jaws, here ya go.
The Amityville Horror theatrical films reviewed
Is this series worthwhile or is it just one big Golden Sombrero?
Mayem (*1/2) and now for something not so different
…this film makes its fellow office massacre film The Belko Experiment look like Shakespeare.
Resident Evil – Welcome to Racoon City (*1/2) Here’s blood in your eye
This film is appreciable for it’s dedication for recreating the original stories. The problem is, the story is better when you are playing a video game at 3 a.m. all hopped up on Mountain Dew.
Halloween Kills (*1/2) Aimless Love
The first thing one knows when going into the movie Halloween Kills is that, contrary to what Laurie Strode insists, there is a pretty sure bet that evil doesn’t die tonight.
Phoning it Long Distance: Bruce Willis’ VOD / Redbox Era
The older he gets, the more it feels like he gave up trying long ago. If this slate of films is considered art of any kind, then I don’t know crap about film. I only know these films qualify as crap.
Separation (*1/2) In search of anxiety
You can skip this and just assume you will know the real killer in the first 5 minutes.
Another Look (*1/2) Runaway hides its talent in an 80’s crappy movie
This is not so much a film to remember as it is one to learn from. There were a lot of movies like this one in the 1980’s, and we survived to make more stupid films later.
The Marksman (*1/2) has the range of a Daisy air rifle
This film feels left over from Clint Eastwood’s discard bin.
Miss Sloane (*1/2) This is ACTING!
Watch this only if you need to see everything Chastain or Mbatha-Raw have done. Otherwise, avoid.
Criterion: The Witch Who Came From the Sea (*1/2) Swings and misses at pop psychology
We’re supposed to connect dots that have since been shown to be tentative at best. It feels like an irresponsible stab at cheap entertainment.
Friday the 13th Chronology continued: The expensive trash +2 good fan films
The best thing about the Never Hike… series is the way it takes its time getting to actual kills. It has confidence and is in no hurry.
Bloodshot (*1/2) is a good premise hampered
See this movie…if you’re looking to get away from the crowds for an hour; it’s a sure bet to see in the theater this weekend.
Friday The 13th Chronology: The First 8, because they were cheap.
I have resisted watching or reviewing these films for some time. I was always partial to Michael Myers, for better or worse, and the times I watched these films, it […]
Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews 