Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews

Category: Movie Reviews

  • CPE, Em & El: Thor: The Dark World: More Loki, anyone?

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    Thor: The Dark World – 2013 Director Alan Taylor Starring Tom Hiddleston, Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgård, Idris Elba, Christopher Eccleston, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Kat Dennings, Ray Stevenson, Zachary Levi, Tadanobu Asano, Jaimie Alexander, Rene Russo Screenplay Christopher Yost, Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely It’s no surprise that Loki is one of the first characters that you see after the prologue of Thor: The Dark World.  It’s a short…

  • The Lone Ranger: Waiting for Depp to fail.

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    The Lone Ranger – 2013 Director Gore Verbinski Starring Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, William Fichtner, Tom Wilkinson, Barry Pepper, James Badge Dale, Helena Bonham Carter Screenplay Justin Haythe, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio The Lone Ranger was pretty much announced DOA when it was released in July 2013.  Why is pretty much tea leaf readings based on production difficulties, a general distaste for Jerry Bruckheimer and…

  • R.I.P.D.: Because there has to be one actor that can’t succeed.

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    R.I.P.D. – 2013 Director Robert Schwentke Starring Jeff Bridges, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Bacon, Mary-Louise Parker, Stephanie Szostak Screenplay Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi based on R.I.P.D. comic by Peter M. Lenkov Could it be that Ryan Reynolds has no friends in Hollywood?  Well, I don’t know about that.  I have n0 friends in Hollywood, either.  Except for maybe Tom Bergeron, who sat next to my…

  • Fast & Furious 6: High Tech Lemonade

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    Fast & Furious 6 – 2013 Director Justin Lin Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson,Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris Bridges, Sung Kang, Luke Evans, Gina Carano, John Ortiz Screenplay Chris Morgan Into the void of PG-13 summer action sprang forth the 6th film in the Fast & Furious franchise.  There is a point to all of this speed and fury, I am sure of…

  • Monsters University: Didn’t know we needed this

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    Monsters University – 2013 Director Dan ScanlonStarring Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Sean Hayes, Joel Murray, Dave Foley, Peter Sohn, Charlie Day, Helen Mirren, Alfred Molina, Nathon Fillon, Aubrey Plaza, Tyler Labine, Bonnie Hunt, Bill Hader, John RatzenbergerScreenplay Daniel Gerson, Robert L. Baird, Dan Scanlon It took 29 films for Disney to come up with its first sequel (Rescuers Down Under).…

  • Forgotten Gems: The Changeling house as haunted as the Man

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    The Changeling – 1980 Director Peter Medak Starring George C. Scott, Trish Van Devere, Melvyn Douglas, John Colicos, Jean Marsh, Helen Burns, Madeleine Sherwood Screenplay Russell Hunter, William Gray, Diana Maddox It’s hard for me to picture George C. Scott as a happy man.  While I am sure many could agree with me on this sentiment, our reasons may differ.  My mind’s eye has forever…

  • The Conjuring: Because we’re running out of horror titles

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    The Conjuring – 2013 Director James Wan Starring Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Ron Livingston, Lili Taylor Screenplay Chad and Carey Hayes The path has been taken so many times by now it’s a wonder it ever works at all.  It’s about technique and its more than a little about feigning surprise.  I think that might be why Patrick Wilson can do…

  • Pacific Rim: Where do you want to die?

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    Pacific Rim – 2013 Director Guillermo Del Toro Starring Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Robert Kazinsky, Max Martini, Ron Perlman Screenplay Del Toro and Travis Beacham Once Guillermo Del Toro decided to forego The Hobbit series of movies, the concept kind of lost steam for me.  After I saw the first film, it was apparent why.  Jackson was creative in…

  • Forgotten Gem: My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done?

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    My Son, My Son What Have Ye Done? – 2009 Director Werner Herzog Starring Michael Shannon, Willem Dafoe, Chloë Sevigny, Udo Kier, Michael Peña, Grace Zabriskie, Brad Dourif Screenplay by Herzog and Herbert Golder Herzog and Golder were thinking of making a movie about the real life murderer Mark Yavorsky, who committed a matricide, mirroring the play of Orestes.  He…

  • After Earth: Slogans are stupid, Jaden is just okay

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    After Earth – 2013 Director M. Night Shyamalan Starring Will Smith, Jaden Smith, Sophie Okendo, Zoë Kravitz, Isabelle Fuhrman Screenplay by Shyamalan and Gary Whitta When I was a younger man, I coached basketball for grade school boys and girls.  I had a variety of assistant coaches.  The way I picked them was a bit unique, but it was…