Category: 0.5 Stars
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The Amityville Horror theatrical films reviewed
Is this series worthwhile or is it just one big Golden Sombrero?
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Phoning it Long Distance: Bruce Willis’ VOD / Redbox Era
The older he gets, the more it feels like he gave up trying long ago. If this slate of films is considered art of any kind, then I don’t know crap about film. I only know these films qualify as crap.
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Rambo Chronology: Blood and Putz
Come for the rankings, stay for the White Douchebag analysis.
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Friday The 13th Chronology: The First 8, because they were cheap.
I have resisted watching or reviewing these films for some time. I was always partial to Michael Myers, for better or worse, and the times I watched these films, it just felt like a hulking replica of everything after the first film in the Halloween franchise. Insert dumb kids, make them get down, then enter…
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Pacific Rim Uprising (1/2*) is awful in so many ways
The end is an insult to those already insulted by every minute preceding.
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Cool Papa E Reviews Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episode I-VI)
#starwars #thecompletesaga What I will do here will amount to more a list than anything. There will be a basic review and a best of and worst of for several facets of each film. I am kind of making it up as I go along, but I am sure this will be no worse than…
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Pompeii is just a flaming heap
Pompeii – 2014 Director Paul W.S. Anderson Starring Kit Harington, Emily Browning, Carrie-Anne Moss, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jessica Lucas, Jared Harris, Kiefer Sutherland Screenplay Janet Scott Batchler, Lee Batchler, Michael Robert Johnson Many fault Paul W.S. Anderson for bringing the inspired collaboration of Alien vs. Predator to an almost screeching halt. It’s true that the 2004 film performed well below expectations, it really wasn’t nearly as…
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CPE and Em: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – Slightly better than expected
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – 2012 Directed by Peter Jackson Starring Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, Hugo Weaving, Christopher Lee, Elijah Wood, Andy Serkis, Sylvester McCoy, Manu Bennett, Benedict Cumberbatch, Barry Humpheries, Graham McTavish, Ken Stott Screenplay Fran Walsh, Phillipa Boyens, Guillermo Del Toro, Jackson Upon discovering that…
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Piranha 3DD is the best DD movie ever
Piranha 3DD – 2012 Director John Gulager Starring Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, David Koechner, Chris Zylka, Katrina Bowden, Gary Busey, Christopher Lloyd, David Hasselhoff Screenplay Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunston, Joel Soisson “Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina.” Piranha 3DD is like the people who arrive at the party when most of the cool…
Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews 