Category: 1 Star
-
We’re The Millers: We’ve all seen a Dick
We’re The Millers – 2013 Director Rawson Marshall Thurber Starring Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis, Will Poulter, Emma Roberts, Ed Helms, Nick Offerman, Kathryn Hahn, Ed Helms, Luis Guzman, Molly Quinn Screenplay Bob Fisher, Steve Faber, Sean Anders, John Morris The iron of having a weed dealer go down to Mexico to pick up “…enough weed to kill Willie…Nelson…” and haul…
-
Sharknado: Now we know what global warming can do…
Sharknado – 2013 Director Anthony C. Ferrante Starring Tara Reid, Ian Ziering, John Heard, Cassie Scerbo, Jaason Simmons, Chuck Hittinger Screenplay Thunder Levin Who left the 14-year-old alone with the computer and the HD camera? I found my kids writing the script for Sharknado 2: The Grouchnapper Needs a Snack. I am pretty sure that Thunder Levin is a pseudonym for my…
-
Promised Land plays scientist, judge, jury, etc…
Promised Land – 2012 Director Gus Van Sant Starring Matt Damon, John Krasinski, Frances McDormand, Rosemarie DeWitt, Scoot McNairy, Titus Welliver, Terry Kinney, Hal Holbrook Written by Damon, Krasinski, Chris Moore Promised Land is perhaps the laziest script I have seen make it to the big screen. It takes a debatable subject, bends one side, to make it…
-
CPE and Em: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – Slightly better than expected
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – 2012 Directed by Peter Jackson Starring Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, Hugo Weaving, Christopher Lee, Elijah Wood, Andy Serkis, Sylvester McCoy, Manu Bennett, Benedict Cumberbatch, Barry Humpheries, Graham McTavish, Ken Stott Screenplay Fran Walsh, Phillipa Boyens, Guillermo Del Toro, Jackson Upon discovering that…
-
Your Sister’s Sister is sophisticated and boring
Your Sister’s Sister – 2012 Written and Directed by Lynn Shelton Starring Emily Blunt, Rosemary DeWitt, Mark Duplass Indy Rule #2 – Opening dialogue for 5 minutes is meant to replace a lack of money in the budget for any special effects. Indy Rule #431 – The tough guy in an independent film is the guy who…
-
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island; There will be a third.
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island – 2012 Director Brad Peyton Starring Josh Hutcherson, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Michael Caine, Vanessa Hudgens, Luis Guzman Screenplay by Brian and Mark Gunn Luis Guzman has been in a bunch of good films, and he has done well in them. Films like The Limey, Carlito’s Way, Boogie Nights, Traffic and Dreamer. He’s…
-
Lockout, and I am okay with it staying that way
Lockout – 2012 Directed by James Mather, Stephen St. Leger Starring Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Vincent Regan, Joseph Gilgun, Lennie James, Peter Stromare Written by Luc Besson, St. Leger, Mather Guy Pearce is one of the great actors of our time. Before and since his mainstream breakthrough in the classic L.A. Confidential, he has consistently picked challenging projects that…
-
The Dead: Manos, The Hands of Zombies
The Dead – 2011 Written and Directed by Howard J. and Jonathan Ford Starring Rob Freeman, Prince David Oseia, David Dontoh Zombies in Africa. Lots of driving. Lots of walking. Sporadic zombies, mostly in white shirts so you can see the blood. I swear I saw the same ones die at least 3 times. Add to this…
-
The Darkest Hour is indeed quite dim
The Darkest Hour – 2011 Directed by Chris Gorak Starring Emille Hirsch, Max Minghella, Rachel Taylor, Olivia Thirlby, Joel Kinnaman Screenplay by Jon Spaihts It’s not the fact that we get to see the film’s signature move, disintegrating humans, dogs, etc, hundreds of times. It’s not the fact that the dialogue in the film is stiff enough to…
Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews 