Category: 1.5 Stars
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Slender Man (*1/2) scares are between slim and none
Ultimately, this is a light scare of a film, made for young-ish teenage girls who may have heard that Slender Man is likely fake but they’re still not sure about that Ouija Board.
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Solo: A Star Wars Story (*1/2) is a bad bet
The trick about #Solo is that there are no tricks. There are no moments where you say “Wow, how’d they think of that?” because you know the writers and director never really thought of it, they just incorporated the thoughts of Lucas and company 41 years ago.
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Life (*1/2) is a short trip
Life – 2017 Director Daniel Espinosa Screenplay by Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rebecca Ferguson, Ryan Reynolds, Hiroyuki Sanada, Ariyon Bakare, Olga Dihovichnaya Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick have some genuine geek credentials, having two of the biggest nerdist success stories of the last decade in their writing repertoire. First Zombieland managed to stand out in a crowded field of the undead back…
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Assassin’s Creed (*1/2) Now really, what did you expect?
Apparently, there is enough riding behind this one to push through at least one sequel. The director is actually interested to explore the cold war. If they let him come back, at least it won’t force some other director to take a dive for material that can only take you so far before it pulls…
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The Secret Life of Pets (***1/2) and Sing (*1/2) shows Illumination is just pumping them out there regardless of quality
It’s plain that Illumination is banking on a distinct visual flair while sacrificing originality of story (and, in Sing’s case, distinct vocal talent). There are worse films out there, but it all makes me happy that my youngest one is 10 and I will likely be skipping more of the automatic animation viewing destinations in…
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In The Heart of the Sea (*1/2) is doldrums
It’d be nice if he could find some way to get himself back into storytelling mode. Something similar to what Reiner has found with low budget gems like Flipped or anything that Jeff Nichols has done. It seems like he thinks he’s reached a status of auteur. These things happen when you make hack commercials…
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Victor Frankenstein (*1/2) Igor is not Igor
Victor Frankenstein – 2015 Director Paul McGuigan Screenplay Max Landis based on the novel by Mary Shelley Starring Daniel Radcliffe, James McAvoy, Jessica Brown Findlay, Andrew Scott, Charles Dance, Spencer Wilding, Freddie Fox Rule #3 – The real monster in any monster movie is not the narrator. Rule #54 – There is a pretty girl for everyone, especially if the hunchback is curable.…
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Paranormal Activity The Ghost Dimension (*1/2): Is that all there is?
Director Gregory Plotkin Starring Chris J. Murray, Brit Shaw, Dan Gill, Ivy George, Olivia Taylor Dudley Screenplay Jason Harry Pagan, Andrew Deutschman, Adam Robitel, Gavin Heffernan When viewing the Paranormal Activity series, one gets the indelible feeling of disintegration and waning interest by the film makers themselves. For the first two films especially, this was not the case. The viewer is brought in through a…
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Cool Papa E Reviews Rocky / Creed The Complete Saga
Rocky The Complete Saga – 1976 – 2015 Rocky – 1976 Director John G. Avildsen Starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers, Burgess Meredith, Joe Spinell, Tony Burton, Geraldine Hughes Screenplay Sylvester Stallone Synopsis Down and out low ranking boxer Rocky Balboa (Stallone) gets the shot of a lifetime when he is randomly picked to take on the World Champion…
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Terminator Genisys (*1/2): Time to abort mission
There are moments to enjoy here. Damn few of them though. The ship has run its course and its time to run it into the iceberg. Think of it as an act of mercy.
Ebert Did It Better: Gasbag Reviews 